Florian Niederlechner’s goal is still the highlight of the week, there’s little that can beat it. This week has been strange and not just because of Monday night’s snow filled adventures. Despite not getting a good night’s sleep and not really having a routine to speak of I’m actually quite relaxed. Which would be odd enough anyway. My first instinct was to pick it apart and work out why. I resisted such temptations, thinking that I should just enjoy it whilst it lasts. I can’t help but think of what Sam said in CA:TWS, about how everyone has their issues and problems but you have to decide how much of it you’re going to carry around with you. Whether you’re going to need a little man purse or a holdall. Normally I’d say I need the latter but not right now. Sleeping problems aside everything else is ok, for once I have some sense of balance. That is I’m not spending all my time focusing one thing to the exclusion of everything else. In the past few days I’ve found time for football, watching a film, reading and playing Lego Marvel Superheroes. The game in particular has proved to be a great source of fun. It’s been a long time since I’ve played a Lego game and I’d forgotten how relaxing they can be. Sure they have their frustrating moments as well but there’s little as fun as smashing stuff up and collecting the proceeds. Equally pleasant is the ever familiar sound of Lego bricks being put together and the sound effects when you collect a mini kit. Some things never get old and Lego games are one of those things. With all the collectibles to get it should tide me over until I can afford to buy the Deadpool game.
I have to admit it’s strange not to be freaking out over anything. Not that I’m complaining, I just can’t help note how odd it all feels. I’m not even beating myself up for having not written a great deal. I figure a few days without having done much is no big deal. The only thing on my mind has been the decision over what to name my YouTube channel, I’ve been trying to come up with a new name since just after Christmas but nothing fit. Until now that is, it’s not something I came up with by myself, not entirely anyway. On the highlights the commentator called Florian a snow king. I found it amusing and evidently liked the nickname because a few minutes later without even trying I came up with the the new name, “SnowKing Schwolow.” With the save he made in the 93rd minute he deserves such a title too. It’s funny, now both my YouTube channels are in someway named after him and both names are Freiburg related.
As great as all this is it’s not a solution and not just because being unable to sleep at night makes everything difficult, like seeing Freiburg’s game on Sunday for one thing. I haven’t quite figured that part out yet. The reason this isn’t something which can continue too long is because the only reason things are quiet is because I’m not dealing with anything. I haven’t talked to anyone or conducted any kind of interaction which wasn’t absolutely necessary. It feels great not having to talk to anyone, knowing that there’s no possible mistakes to obsess over. But I can’t hide away forever, I know that. It just makes it clear how impossible all this is. Stay inside and have little to do with the real world and I can for the most part avoid getting stressed out. Don’t do that and I can’t. But then of course you’re not dealing with anything or taking care of yourself. I don’t know how to resolve that or if it’s even resolvable. In order to have any kind life in the real world and be responsible for myself does that mean having to accept that I’m going to be anxious and on edge a lot of the time? Which option is worse I wonder. Dealing with that or not having any kind life and being free of it all. I wonder if such things are part of the reason for the rift that’s developed with one of my friends. If it’s because they’re growing up and it seems like I’m not. Whatever the reasons I’m not upset about it, I’m relieved. It was starting to feel like just another obligation. It may have not been the best way for it to happen but I’m glad I was able to be honest about my feelings for once, or to be more precise a lack of them in this case. It’s nice knowing I no longer have to lie or hide anything, that I don’t have to pretend not to be interested in things that some people consider childish. Forget about hiding them I have a new sticker album on the way. It’s the Serbian one for the European Championships and is superior to the Panini version for one simple reason, there’s a sticker of Jogi Löw. There’s another cool thing about it too, there are packets with different designs and Manuel Neuer is one of them which is the coolest thing ever.