Milk with the Colonel

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry…

…for tomorrow we die. The world is ending tomorrow! Tell us about your last dinner — the food, your dining companions, the setting, the conversation.

It goes without saying who would be at the top of my list of companions. All my favourite Germans, Jogi, Hansi, the current national squad and a few recently retired players like Miroslav Klose, Per Mertesacker and Philipp Lahm. Plus a few Swiss and Austrians. Not forgetting Christian Streich of course.

But none of them would be the main guest of honour, the person the title refers to, Colonel Hans Landa. To be clear I mean Landa and not Christoph Waltz. The reason being that Christoph Waltz does not like milk so I could not share a glass with him. Inviting Landa to dinner, indeed the very last dinner does not signal any approval of his beliefs, or to be more precise his pretended beliefs for he is as the end of the film proves, very flexible with his ideology and beliefs. I know he’s a fictional character, but the prompt didn’t specify that the people had to be real, so my last dinner, my rules.

If at this last dinner you get to drink a glass of milk with Landa then you have to have Dr. King Schultz there as well, it would be undeniably cool to drink a beer with him. In addition, if you’re having two QT characters there, then the man himself should make an appearance, if not just to share a glass of milk with him too.

As for the food, something of a mixture, Bratwurst and mustard of course. And spaghetti and meatballs and pizza too. Apparently spaghetti is a favourite of Jogi Löw’s. There’s a restaurant I read about in his home town that has on the menu a spaghetti recipe named after him. It would be on the menu whether he liked it or not, spaghetti and German-Swedish meatballs is a personal favourite of mine, at least it is when the meatballs don’t come from Hannover. For desert chocolate cake and white sauce, simply unbeatable.

I read somewhere online once that Hansi Flick likes to cook, in fact it’s the only thing I’ve ever read about his hobbies at all, on his Hoffenheim card under hobbies it simply says “football.” Very helpful Hansi, he’s more secretive than Jogi is it seems. Back to the point, he would be the chef. And Thomas Müller can get out his dress once more and he can be the waitress.

The setting, I’m thinking you’d need a decent sized hall to get all those people in. How about a nice old Germanic castle, one that is still intact preferably. I think we can skip the traditional dress codes though, I wouldn’t wanted to be cheated of Jogi and Hansi in their always perfect suits. I can picture it now, a table on a platform looking down on the rest of the room, the guests of honour would sit there, Jogi and Hansi at the center of course. With the players and everyone else seated at the tables below.

Conversation wise, football and then more football I would suppose. Plus I could finally get an answer to all of my questions, not least my sticker related ones. So many moments that I would love to get some insight on. To name one in particular, I would really like to know what if anything he was thinking when he kept going on at the fourth official in the Austria game in 2008 and what made him lay a hand on him. And to know what the hell they were talking about during one of my all time favourite moments from the 2014 World Cup.

Jogi_und_HansiI wonder if some people may question or wonder about why it is that there are no people in my immediate reality that are part of this picture. Like I said earlier, my last dinner, my rules. It’s not like there aren’t any people in real life that I like, I’m just not sure I would want to spend my last meal with them. Though some of the people I know would love to meet some of the people on my list, which means they should really be invited anyway. For example, I know someone who would trade just about anything to sit next to Manuel Neuer for a while regardless of the circumstances. I still don’t think I’d invite them, I think I’d like to keep my Germans to myself, all of them.

On the subject of things I like, I like very much that this  is post number 477. My favourite and now very Germanic number. I know it held no luck for Freiburg, but I can’t stop liking it, seven will always be special. It’s funny talking about how special seven is when the GIF above is from that very game, the Brazil one.

2. Bundesliga count-down- 48 days to go.

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