Off-side

You’re in on goal, you know you can beat the keeper, and then you see the flag. It’s just not your night. I hoped this would be the night it was resolved. Start of a new month and it’s perfect because Monday is the 1st, 1st day of the week and of the month. Plus today is the day I embark upon The Klinsmann era. The time of Klinisi und Jogi. That is I’m going to start watching my collection of Germany’s games and since I don’t have all of their friendlies yet, the first one up is Germany v Brazil from the Confederations Cup.

I hope I have better luck tonight, well this afternoon technically. Despite having some time late in the night for a repetitive and usually calming activity (sorting and putting up some new Jogi and Roman pictures) with some quiet time to follow. I still find myself unable to sleep. Again. Not even coming up with a suitably themed chapter of the Alternates involving Roman was of any help.

I’m starting to think I’m being punished for something. This isn’t fun anymore, staying up once in a while used to be fun, all night video game sessions, some snacks. This isn’t fun, this is torture. I miss waking up and not feeling tired. I miss having dreams and remembering them. I miss remembering where the day went. I know Joachim or any of them would not approve of this madness, and knowing that still doesn’t help.

Seeing as how I can’t remember anything at the moment, I thought keeping a diary would help, to see if there are any patterns. There must be way to put a stop to this.

I keep analysing everything, looking over and over for something that’s different. What is there that’s changed since the end of summer? This all can’t be because I have a different kind of special interest, surely that can’t be it. It fulfills almost all of the same functions as the previous ones. It has an alternate universe, I have videos to watch, songs to listen to, collectibles to hunt for. And it offers something they couldn’t, it provides a fixed routine for part of the week.

What if it’s not only not related to the special interest change, but what if it’s not an autism thing? If not that, then what?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s